“Do your own thing on your own terms and get what you came here for.”- Oliver James
“Do your own thing on your own terms and get what you came here for.”
- Oliver James
Self-actualisation is a need within everyone, to realise and fulfill our talents, gifts, potentials and possibilities. A person battling an addiction could see themselves as a victim of circumstance, wondering, “Why me?”, and struggle with recovery time after time. Someone looking at the experience through a self- actualising lens would ask instead, what has this come to teach me that’s positive for my future? How is this experience helping me to realise my greatest potential, and what knowledge has come from this that can be a gift, so that I may share with others to support them in the same way?
Our wounds truly can become our greatest sources of wisdom, compassion and power. Through Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, self-actualisation is the highest level of development, where personal potential is fully realised after the basic bodily and ego needs have been met. This is the motivation within to realise our greatest potential. Abraham Maslow defined self-actualisation as the way to self-fulfilment; this is the internal desire we can be motivated by to become more and more and more. Rather than our accomplishments defining whether we are worthy, loveable or enough, standing for a bigger purpose like this in life can mean that we can actually tap into a psychological desire that can motivate us to pursue ambitions for the self- fulfilment that comes in knowing our true self, and realising our potentiality in sharing our gifts to shape a better world.
Most entrepreneurs, when they come to see me, are just like how I was. I was deficiency motivated. The idea that I wanted to be or do more, was from a need to fill up the cup of inadequacy I felt within, rather than it being led from growth-motivation. Deficiency motivation happens when we need to be driven by fear, stress, the “nothing will ever be good enough syndrome”, rather than by our sense of wholeness, love, passion, and service that comes from when we are growth motivated.
It’s time to start discovering your secure, authentic self, and how worthy, loveable and enough you truly are. It’s time to end the loop on the deficiency motivation model that’s been guiding your life up until now, and learn how to be growth motivated instead. This will mean that you are going to be feeling way more safe and secure.
Discovering You Are Worthy of Love
You have been on a life journey up until now, presenting a certain version of yourself to the world. Digging hours and hours into your purpose has helped you to feel special, significant, worthy, and affirmed a certain idea of yourself to the external world. Yet inside, there’re parts of yourself that you don’t want anyone to see. Inside you feel like a ______ (insert the blank)... and you don’t want anyone at all to see that.
Your mind says you are ......... You start to feel .............. You then choose to ...........
All in the hope that no one will ever see the shamed self, and the parts of yourself that you hide from the world. No one must know those dirty secrets that your mind holds.
You are stupid.
You are a fake.
You don’t have anything to offer.
No one wants you.
You can’t do it.
No one will be able to love that about you. Everyone will leave you if they only knew. You don’t know what you are doing.
This voice inside of our heads, can make us want to be more and more and more. We do anything to avoid what it has to say to us, and so we constantly focus our attention to our external world and doing everything in our living mind, so that no one in the world would ever see who we “really are” the part of us that we think is not worthy of love. So we try to show the world the version of ourselves that is the most loveable, and we do everything we can to hide all the parts of ourselves we don’t feel are worthy, loveable and enough. In our bid to do this, we get to the achievements of life, and we don’t feel like all of us is happy. Something within is still not fulfilled. The reason for this is we left the parts of ourselves behind that are having these thoughts and feelings. They are indeed part of our authentic self, that we have been doing everything to avoid, run away from and hide in our constant obsession for external success, validation, recognition and love.
But what if, at the start of the journey, or just wherever you are in your journey, you chose to slow down, and learned to take all parts of your authentic self with you along that journey, so that the journey you were taking was indeed true for all parts of yourself? The difference may be being fulfilled at the end of the journey you are going on, and being less attached to results, and more able to enjoy the process of what self-actualisation offers us.
Often, we have bought into the idea that the outcome, goal, or empire will provide true fulfilment. What I have learned is it’s not about the end “insert the blank”, the true self fulfilment I have discovered has come in the person I become along the journey.
True self fulfilment comes when we align our life with a we-centric movement, placing our own potential in the centre. In pursuing being of contribution to the world, we maximise our potential and become the person we were always destined to be.
My job is to help you to stop pursuing ideals, dreams and possibilities for your life, on the basis that when you get those, you will be any more worthy of love. If I can help you to see the full package of who you are, to help you to value it, and lead from the wholeness of who you are and its loveability, you will be able to create a we-centric movement that puts you in the centre. One where you can build a sustainable, scalable and self-expressive empire, that doesn’t require you to self-sacrifice, undervalue, or abandon your needs for that success, love and money. Now is the time to stop that wretched cycle of self-betrayal and abandonment, and learn how to lead from the deepest, most wholesome and nourishing parts of what true self-love looks like.
“Luxury business models provide the profitability for entrepreneurs, to have the time and freedom for their love and family life, so they are deeply fulfilled, as they leave the largest social impact on the planet”. - —Samantha J.Read More