It’s time to lead from your imperfect state. There will always be a part of you that wants to be and do more, that will feel never good enough, because we are wired for growth.
It’s time to lead from your imperfect state. There will always be a part of you that wants to be and do more, that will feel never good enough, because we are wired for growth. Rather than thinking peace is in a future destination, make peace with this today, and you will have a peaceful journey towards realising more of your greatness as you create your we-centric movement. Through the previous exercises, you would have seen how the things we dislike about ourselves the most, are indeed the very things that will give us the success, love, money and growth we desire, to truly lead us to take action in the direction of life that will provide true self-fulfilment in the process of self-actualisation. Your courage to put yourself in situations where that thought, “I am stupid,” will come up, will also become the very place that you discover that you are indeed smart, knowledgeable, capable and excellent at what you do. The illusion of the false self often tells us lies about ourselves. We keep believing these lies about ourselves for the love, acceptance and belonging that we received from being less than who we were in the times we revealed our authentic self. In this example, it was when I shared my talents and gifts as a young girl, and was made fun of. I soon learned, “Be stupid to be loved,” if I just don’t reveal my knowledge and intelligence in front of a group of people, then I won’t have to face that humiliation again. So I developed a false self that told me lies about myself, to protect me from the painful feelings over and over again. I learned to be small to be loved, and be less than who I was.
We all have these experiences. What we need to do, is to stop buying into the stories our minds tell us about ourselves, to find the courage to go deep within our heart, and to listen to the direction it’s calling us towards. The heart knows the path to the treasure. When we believe in the treasure of who we are, flaws and insecurities included, we aren’t showing up in the moment to prove we are not stupid, we are showing up in the moment honouring, accepting and acknowledging the part of us that is stupid within, the little girl or boy who feels that, letting it know it’s worthy of showing up even when it feels like that. And we are showing it that it is more than that story in the head too. When we don’t show up with the expectation we must be something other than stupid, we just get to show up in the moment, both ok with being stupid, and ok with being smart. When we can learn to feel ok in both these polarities, suddenly we cannot fail, make a mistake, or feel less than, because we have attached our self-worth to something external such as other’s opinions, an outcome, or result. This is how you will learn to turn your flaws and insecurities into assets, you will learn to first accept them as a part of you, and also by taking action you will also discover their polarity.
I’ll tell you a story. When I launched Samantha J., there was a voice inside of my head that kept saying to me, this won’t work, everyone is going to leave you if you do this. I held space and learned to accept the part inside of me that was trying to keep me safe and protected. She thought being big, bright and beautiful was going to end in a lot of pain for me. I could feel the original memory, and how putting myself out there put me in situations where triggers from my childhood arose, of when I was shamed, put down, and humiliated for being smart, intelligent, and being the centre of attention meant getting hurt lots. No wonder that part of me kept telling me these lies; she wanted to keep me safe from experiencing the same thing. I decided to be ok with the thoughts she said to me. I learned to honour, accept and acknowledge and become ok with the idea that if it doesn’t work, I will still be ok. If everyone leaves me, I will still be ok. I wanted to hold space for her feelings, and also take action in those areas, to discover the gift of my true self in those situations if I wanted to believe the opposite side of the polarity too, and learn how to regain safety in the opposite of what life experiences had taught me. I started to envisage what it looks like if this works, and if I get more aligned connections and more love from those around me as being big, bright and beautiful me. I did my best to be the person each day, and choose to do things each day in accordance with these two belief systems. What happened on the other side was I discovered I can be loved for being big, bright and beautiful me, and that things can work. The launch went well, and I discovered it was just my false self speaking to me, to try to keep me safe and protected.
By taking action from a growth perspective, being fueled by wishing to realise the fullness of who we are, beyond our flaws and insecurities, and that familiar way we see ourselves, we will see we are more capable, strong, courageous, enough, and worthy than we ever imagined, but in order to discover that, we have to find the courage within to keep putting ourselves in situations to show ourselves more and more of our authentic self within. By defining a we-centric movement, and continuing to take consistent action towards it each day, this is how you realise this potential of your gifts, and possibilities of who you are. Self-fulfilment will come as a consequence of the journey, because you will learn to accept your flaws and insecurities as the gateway to getting everything you want in life, and not leave them behind. When you take them on the journey, then your wholeness drives you, and the self-acceptance of whoever you are, moment to moment, will mean the journey is one of grace and ease – no longer is self-judgement, fear of failure, or not being enough going to be a source of sabotage any longer. This is freedom.
Follow these journal prompts to start getting clarity on the we- centric movement you are here to create...
We have been told the idea that the greatest spiritual growth is to put others before ourselves. What if in fact it was about putting ourselves in the middle of standing for a bigger purpose, that helped us to truly be of the most service to the world, and realise our potential along the way.
There’s often two groups of people. The first group of people are so “I-centric” that it needs to be all about them and that’s what their movement is truly driven by. It’s about filling up their own empty cup, and their business has become a way to find that love, validation and approval. The second group of people are so about others, that they forget about themselves entirely and sacrifice their own needs along the journey, often meaning they sacrifice their profitability, wellbeing or sanity on the journey of being of service to others. What we need to do is to create a model of an empire that’s sustainable, scalable and self-expressive, which puts our true vision of our life, needs, values, feelings and desires in the middle. Then create a model of our business, which does not require we sacrifice what’s most important to us, that enables us to value purpose and profit to co-exist together in harmony, allows us to live the lifestyle we want, get paid for the value of the results and transformation we deliver, and preserves our health and wellbeing. What would it mean for you in your life, if you got to welcome wealth with grace and ease in this way? What type of life would you be living, and how would your business look in 12 months from now if you chose to do this?
Journal Prompts to Follow...
If you choose to stop sacrificing your own values, needs and boundaries for purpose, making a difference, success, love and money, what would change?
Develop Your We-Centric Vision Exercise
In 10 years from now, what is the world your movement has created? What have you stood for? What have you stood against? What have you done differently? What is the world that your movement, and you as the leader modelling the change, has created? Write this out in as much detail as possible speaking in present tense of 10 years from today. Start with, “It’s the 31st of January, 2032. I am seeing... I am hearing... I am feeling... I am tasting... I am..., etc.
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